Sober living

Big Book Chapter 5 Alcoholics Anonymous

I have resentments because they are a true sign of emotion dysfunction. We have to show love and tolerance for each other as we suffer the same illness/malady. Dismissing others like us for having what we have and acting as we do is like a form spiritual malady of self loathing. We have to forgive ourselves and each other for being ill. Self compassion allows us to be compassionate towards others. I would have had empathy for where the newcomer “was at in his recovery” as I had been there once too.

spiritual malady aa

What can that statement possibly mean to an agnostic? Is the whole idea of someone being spiritually ill acceptable? Especially to someone who doesn’t believe in God?

Blogging The Language of the Heart

Although social support is key to early engagement in the Twelve-Step membership, over time, spiritual issues emerge as increasingly important and helping others achieve recovery is at the heart of this. Referred to in several of the twelve steps is therefore unrelated to religion; it refers to the potentially healing power inherent in interpersonal relationships based on reciprocity and equality. I also have other ways of reacting in an emotionally unhealthy way that my step 4 showed. Instead of acting on my upset by saying to someone, you have hurt my feelings I do the opposite, I react and attack them in my head, my thoughts, my words and sometimes in my actions. I was working with someone last year and we had a disagreement and this guy said to me “I am upset” and “You have hurt my feelings” I was taken aback. This guy was an Olympic champion at expressing how he feels compared to me.

What to say when making amends?

  1. I'm sorry.
  2. I feel bad about what I did.
  3. I'm sorry I made myself sick.
  4. I'm sorry for what I've put you through.
  5. I know this has been hard on both of us.

I never say I am upset because it also seems to be an undifferentiated emotion that I have trouble accessing, mentalising and expressing. In fact I think this pattern of interlinked negative emotions occurs simply because of inability to identify, label and share the simple fact that I have been upset by what someone has said or acted towards me. I got as far as deciding it was an inherent problem with processing negative emotions, which it is. Just as revealing where the negative emotions listed which clearly showed how I react, and can still react to people who I believe have caused my hurt or rejection. I did not realise that the engine driving this emotion dysregulation was chronic shame. I do not necessarily have to react to my feelings of negativity about myself, someone else does not need to experience the consequence of my resentments. This allows me to do a quick inventory of my negative emotions and a prayer to God to have them removed.

Welcome to I believe God

We can not rely on our thoughts and feelings or, in other words, our Self Will. Our self will has become impaired and is no longer in the service of our successful survival. We have difficulties in our relationships with others, these relationships are often unhealthy and ill. As a result we are guarded against those that we perceive will reject us or be negative to us, harm us in some way and we seek to dominate these folk or we are dependent on those who are kind to us, help us and care for us. We are in a sense co-dependent on other people for our sense of esteem.

spiritual malady aa

On page 62 the text explains that“Selfishness-self-centeredness! In this way we tried to shape a sane and sound ideal for our future sex life. We subjected each relation to this test -was it selfish or not?

In Modern Terms, What is the “Spiritual Malady” of AA?

Once we indulge in the first drink, our judgment and normal concerns are skewed. As addicts we can become so focused on the outward form our addiction takes – whether that booze, drugs, sex, overeating, etc. – that we overlook its deep roots at the core of our being.

What are the 3 rules of addiction?

It's often been said that there are three rules when it comes to addiction in the family: Don't speak, don't trust and don't feel. At Vertava Health, we believe there is one additional rule: Don't move. The following explains how these rules come into play in an addictive household: Don't Speak.

Taking a commercial inventory is a fact-finding and a fact-facing process. Though our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us. We begin to obsess and buy the lie because we want to feel the ease and comfort of the first drink.

December 21, 2020 by Burning Tree Programs in

We are far from being Saints but have a solution Saints would approve and achieve a kind of transient sanctity in this 12 step solution of letting go and letting God. I also impressed upon him that mostly I can manage this emotional dysfunction but often I fail to and get into a resentful anger. Attempting to live according to God’s Will also helps me not react but to act with Grace. The guy was probably in guilt too as he could been working on his recovery more. I explained to him that his pride had been hurt, he was in shame and his “apparent” depression every since was simply prolonged self pity.

Not to tell the bottom of our brains to fight back or run or freeze. I can get out of the distress of wanting/needing stuff by asking God to remove those negative emotions which block me off from Him. I can manage my spiritual malady or emotional dysfunction, I have the tools to do so.

How Far Have We Come In Understanding this “Spiritual Malady” of Alcoholism?

Old timers and recovering people with more experience can explain in layman’s terms just what the author Bill W. Was trying to relay in a far more easily digestible fashion.

  • I am not a representative of AA and I do not speak on behalf of the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous.
  • We are in a sense co-dependent on other people for our sense of esteem.
  • On page 62 the text explains that“Selfishness-self-centeredness!
  • This mesh of negative emotions can link up fairly instantaneously I find.
  • If we do not get spiritually connected with meditation or prayer with a power greater than us it will bring us closer and closer to that drink or drug.